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Completely Unfair

The Saturday sunshine and air,
Brought sweet fragrance to Abigail’s hair.
But the next day that came,
Caused poor Abby to claim,
“Sunday rain is completely unfair.”

Ah. I’m comfortable. I have had trouble with my computer screen. I use a laptop and it had a bad hinge connecting the screen to the keyboard. Kris was able to replace the hinge for me but for whatever reason the new hinge is not tight, in that the screen will only stay up if it is propped at a 90° angle or less. If the screen is angled wrong it will slap itself down flat and make me jump. Most of the time a 90° angle is fine, but given certain chairs are higher than others and certain desks have different lighting, I have found it difficult at times to sit comfortably with my laptop. I have not been able to actually use it in my lap at all, but today I am on the couch with the laptop in my … wait for it … LAP! I set a TV tray in front of my knees to hold up the screen and a pillow behind my back and both the laptop and I are properly propped up for optimum comfort and efficiency. I think it’s sort of funny to have to rig myself up this way and granted I could just sit at my desk, but if you’re like me you will agree that now and then a softer seat and more relaxed space is a nice change.

It has been a while since I blogged and though I certainly have a lot to catch up on…I still have a lot to keep up with elsewhere as well. So I will try to be brief.

I am in the process of sewing curtain panels for the new neighbor who lives across the street. She offered to pay me and I like that but of course don’t know what in the world to charge. Simple hems and rod pocket stuff, nothing complicated.

I went to MOPS this morning in Hermitage. I’ve never been, and though I enjoyed it, I’m still not sure how much I want to go. I think I’m a little weird sometimes. I love people but becoming part of an organization is hard for me. It’s a good organization, I like everything I heard, I felt like I could enjoy getting to know the other moms, but somehow I feel resistant. I think it’s the Amish culture clinging to my genetic code. As if somehow joining myself to this group is going to cause me to meld into a crowd and become reliant on something outside myself. I don’t know what it is…I probably need therapy.

We spent five days out of town recently. Last Tuesday evening the passing of a dear friends father prompted us to plan a trip to Florida to attend the funeral. The friend, Brent, grew up near enough to Kris’ family that we were able to stay and visit several days and used the time to have a mini-vacation as well.

The funeral service was very nice. I was able to reconnect with a few people and rehash some fond memories as well as communicate the joys of where life has brought all of us since. It’s always refreshing to be among comfortable people.

The time spent with family was equally refreshing. We completely upended the lives of Kris’ parents with our suitcases, pillows and curious boys, but they seem to want us to return anyway. Aron was our entertainment, Ivan was our quietly mischievous one and Owen the constant commentator of all events happening at all times. We got to see the boy’s cousins, aunts, uncles, and of course Mema too. There is a real possibility that our annual trip to Florida in April will be out of reach for us, so it was very nice to have this opportunity to see everyone.

Since our return I’ve been trying to catch up and keep up. We drove back on Monday and we’ve had pretty busy days since. Bible study on Tuesday morning, a visit to Greenbrier right after to see the cousins and Grandpa who is visiting for a while. One of these days we’ll be able to build him his own little house to stay in so that he can just spend his winters here in the…ahem…warmer south. Wednesday was an eye doctor appointment in the morning, church in the evening and a late night as usual. Thursday was a more quiet day but I started it really early.

See…I had committed to writing a skit for the Women’s Spring Conference (as usual) but again…I was having trouble getting it done. It’s not easy to just sit down and write something on topic that’s also…funny. I had given my neighbor the assurance that her curtains would get done by a certain time and all of that was weighing on me a bit more than I thought, because I kept dreaming that I would fall into a corner or something and couldn’t get out of it. One I particularly remember was me falling onto the floor between a bed and a wall that were pretty snugly placed together. I could reach the top of the bed but was too wedged to actually pull myself up and I had no leverage to use my legs or my other arm. It still makes me tense thinking about it. My mind woke me up before I had a panic attack and after two or three of those dreams I decided I needed to just get up and do something to make myself feel better. So between 3:00 a.m. and 4:00 a.m. I wrote a skit. Thankfully, and maybe even surprisingly, it was approved by the head of the ladies board that afternoon. I also got halfway through my sewing project by about noon and though I was very tired last night, I was thankful for a good day and a productive and encouraging start. Today has been beautiful. The sunshine, the fellowship, the fact that Kris has the relieved “it’s a weekend” look on his face and a sweet conversation with Owen as we drove home from school has been very comforting to me. I think I’ll bottle that and sip on it for a while.

Now…I need to finish that sewing.

5 thoughts on “Completely Unfair

  1. Whew! So completely exhausting! That dream is AWFUL… one of the biggest reasons I don’t know as I like commission work. The sale is guaranteed, but you have to work on someone else’s time table and not simply create freely as you feel inspired. So. Hard.

    When’s our re-scheduled meet-up? When you get these projects under control, I want to visit!

  2. I didn’t even know you’d posted something…I came over here to ask where you were! I’ll go ahead and read the post now 😉

  3. Oh, I second the *awful* dream comment. It’s terrible what stress does, isn’t it?

    I’m glad you guys had a nice time in FL. I hope it was warmer and you guys all had a chance to thaw out. I’d give almost anything to be able to thaw out for a while.

  4. Oh. My. Goodness. Busy lady.
    Don’t you feel, sometimes, that once you let so much life slip by unwritten, the task of just writing about it all is overwhelming?
    I applaud your creative laptop setup. There’s nothing cozier than a warm laptop and a soft place to set your hiney 🙂
    The MOPS thing? If it’s because of your Amish heritage, I must secretly be Amish too. I hate that sort of thing. Even though the people and the organization are all perfectly nice, I feel very uncomfortable in organized group settings. So, maybe you’re weird, but I am too 🙂

  5. Mary, I was interested to see you attended MOPS. We are in the stages of considering starting a group at NCCF. I sometimes felt just like you–afraid to get too involved. I think the stress dream has something to do with it. You must be a lot like me. Over the years folks have urged and urged me to do tatting, etc. for money, commissioning me to make things for them. I’ve finally started doing it in the last few years, but for many years I wouldn’t. The thought of being “locked in” was too much for me. A responsibility issue is what I thought it was! I think I was overly responsible and couldn’t stand the thought of failing or letting someone down. I have had to strive to break out of the feeling of being afraid to commit to something–a group, a job, etc. You are probably feeling a bit of motherly commitment that prevails over other commitments and that’s good and normal. Congratulate yourself for being a great mom.

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