Daily Reading: Zechariah 14, Psalm 4, 34, 64
Psalm 64:10 “The righteous shall be glad in the Lord, and shall trust in him; and all the upright in heart shall glory.”
I am thinking to myself how self-righteous I can be. Hoping that I do not come across to others the way I sometimes look to myself. Just a little while ago I called the church and questioned the receptionist about whether or not there was child-care at the church. I did what I had to do…I wasn’t doing anything wrong…but I felt like I had nailed her down and possibly made her feel bad for giving out bad information. After I hung up I questioned myself. “Do you think you need to fix everything?” I tried very hard to be nice and not sound arrogant to the receptionist but I still felt bad after I hung up. I remember being the receptionist and I hated it when people questioned me, or asked me where I got my information. I was defensive and thought…”do you think I’m stupid just because I’m a receptionist? Do you think I’m lying to you to get you off the phone because I’m a slacker with a mediocre job? What do you think…that I am not capable of knowing what I’m talking about because I’m JUST a receptionist?” I felt so frustrated in that position and wished I could prove to people how capable I really was. Now here I am on the other side of the phone thinking…I know this girl doesn’t know what she’s talking about and I’ve got to get the facts. I can only hope that poor Amy is not as self absorbed and defensive as I was. I really was nice to her and tried very hard not to be belittling. She did everything right…got the information, asked the right people and offered all the help she could. I guess I am once again realizing how silly I was and can still be I’m sure. What does that have to do with Psalm 64:10? Well, just this…the upright in heart shall glory. My heart has not always been upright. No matter how good things are if your heart is not upright you won’t glory. You won’t worship, you won’t appreciate the goodness around you. It’s like this morning. All morning we had absolutely beautiful weather but I didn’t know it because I didn’t go outside, open any windows or look at the evidence around me that was screaming to me to come out and enjoy it. If I had realized it earlier I would have opened some windows and let in the sunshine and warm air a lot sooner. As it was I opened them just in time for the rain to start. A heart that is not upright can’t appreciate all the good around them. They have the windows to their soul closed because they are protecting their esteem and their ego. I wonder sometimes as I look back at the jobs I’ve had and some of the frustrations I endured, what did I miss? How many times did I have opportunity to glory but my heart was upside down?
Just before I started writing this journal I called a couple from our Sunday School class who just had a baby and are getting meals delivered to them. She and I talked about the baby and I was able to give her some suggestions for his jaundice. We talked about Sunshine and I was sincere in my desire to help her. Nothing false led me to talk about how to get the little guy into the sunshine and let it soak into his skin…I told her that because I want to encourage her and help that baby become healthy. It was raining as we talked but just after I started typing I felt the sun warm my shoulder through the window. I began to smile and just thanked God for healing sunshine and the opportunity she now had to get that baby into its rays. She lives very close by so I knew that she was getting that same opening of sky that I was. At that moment my soul was open and my heart was upright as I intended to serve her and her baby…I gloried in the sunshine because of it. Had I been thinking of only my daily routine and what not…I would still have felt the sunshine but it wouldn’t have meant anything to me.
Shine
Shine down on me Jesus
I want to see what you see around me
How many tears have I wasted on circumstance?
How many moments were stolen by fear, what’s it worth?
In the palm of your hand
Help me to stand
Shine down on me.