“Then everyone who trembled at the words of the God of Israel on account of the unfaithfulness of the exiles gathered to me, and I sat appalled until the evening offering. But at the evening offering I arose from my humiliation, even with my garment and my robe torn, and I fell on my knees and stretched out my hands to the LORD my God;”
Ezra 9:4-5
We do not do this. We do not “sit appalled until the evening offering.”
We do not take the time to allow the depths of sin to be exposed. We do not take it upon ourselves to repent for those who represent us.
We sit in judgment. We sit in gossip sessions. We sit in front of the news and critique culture. But we do not sit in forlorn awe of the contrast in good and evil.
It sounds like horrible, painful work. To sit and consider the sin of others in relation to how it has affected others. To consider how it will hurt the person who sinned. To consider how it hurts God.
It should not be overlooked.
Paul wrote as much to the Corinthian church,
“Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough?”
1 Corinthians 5:6
They wanted to ignore the bad and boast of the good. He charged them, and charges you and me, to mourn over immorality.
“You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst.”
1 Corinthians 5:2
I am happier in overlooking. Much like the Corinthians I would rather point attention to those who are serving, those who are hearing the heart of God and marching in step to His heart, the good around me is still good.
How do we sit appalled? What does that even look like?
I want to find out. I want to step into a humility of sorrow over sin, that only grace can raise me up from. I want to examine the contrast of intentions and follow slowly the path away from darkness and into light. I want to see the hand of my Father reach for me, and know that what was intended to harm me, has been left dead in its pit.
The cross has conquered, and I will rise up from my humiliations, as Ezra did, to celebrate that grace. But we cannot celebrate a battle won if it is not fought. I can fight knowing who wins. I can be still and charge my own heart with compromise, knowing my redemption light is just above the height of my bowing shoulders.