Some Days Should End Early

This has been a hard day. I love being a parent, and I love my children, but today was one of those testing days where you wonder if you’re qualified and if maybe you should have been licensed before signing up to be a caregiver to such young and fragile creatures. Ivan was sick yesterday, low fever part of the day but gone this morning. After taking him from his crib and holding him a while I noticed his breathing was strained and he was just miserable and exhausted. I prayed and held him all day. I got him some great stuff at Orbit per Becky’s suggestion and I know it’s helping, but results aren’t swift, at least not as swift as I’d like, and all day I’ve been questioning everything. Should I take him to the doctor? Should I give him this? Should I keep him from eating that? What if he’s really ill?..what if it’s more serious than I’m aware?..what if?..what if?..what if?..was the mantra, and I had to banish it under my feet constantly. One of the drawbacks of being a somewhat creative person is that my mind not only comes up with good stories or witty things to say, it also festers with dramatic scenarios of pain and suffering. I can imagine things that no one should ever dwell on and today those images were almost constant. Cast your cares on Him…I would remind myself, take every thought captive…By His stripes Ivan is healed…at least the arsenal is ready when needed. It’s just exhausting to fight myself all day. He did have a fever again after his nap and I did call the doctors office and the nurse suggested a few things to do and said if he’s not better by morning to bring him in. He will be better by morning. I trust that God will bless him abundantly as he sleeps tonight. I feel better just writing it out. All evening after putting the little guy to bed I have felt confident that tomorrow would be a much better day and therefore the title of this post…if this day ended early I could move on to tomorrow.

This does not sound like the post of someone who is going to teach on contentment in a month. It’s all a lesson isn’t it? Habakkuk 3:18 “Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.”