Success

Kris is at work,

Owen is playing,

Ivan is crying and

I’m tired.

I have a list made and I have a lot I would like to accomplish. I feel sometimes that all I do is feed little boys, and that my schedule is completely dictated by their naps and meals. However, I am fully aware that there will come a day when I will wish I could hold them, I will wish I could lean over their sweet little bodies as they rest in the afternoon. So…why complain? It is such a waste of time. Today I am going to do what I can and linger over the moments when the reality of motherhood holds me tightly and let it be a security instead of a chain.

Kris’ cousin Michelle keeps a blog and I like to read her thoughts on things. Twice now she has quoted a phrase that I find intriguing and I have copied it here…

And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep. –K.V. Jr.

I’m keeping this present. I’m going to use it to make the next moment I call the present, even better. Sometimes you have to stand up to the present and demand that it conform and other times you have to let the present whisk you off your feet and smile despite your lack of control. You can choose how you perceive the present and you can choose whether to embrace it or throw it away. Truly, there are moments of my life that I have thrown away…mistakes I’ve made, words I’ve said, accusations, and quarrels that have no value. The Bible says that God takes moments like that and throws them as far as the east is from the west. I am free of those moments and they have no power over me. I have today…not to make up for those moments…they no longer exist…but simply to make today something of value.

Right now…in this present…Owen wants me to wrap Bob the Builder in a blanket.

I could stand up and say NO! I am too creative, too smart, too talented to be wrapping plastic toys in fleece. I have too many gifts to be wasting my time sticking a pacifier in a baby’s mouth for the 100th time in the span of an hour. There are so many more important things I should be using my creativity for. I could be making a difference in a job where real people are counting on my talents to further their agenda. I could be making money and receiving praise for what I do. I’ve never had a job where I was not either promoted or given opportunity to be promoted…I know my ability to be successful. Today I read in Proverbs 23…Labor not to be rich and cease from thine own wisdom. My labor is in vain if my only motivation is money and my wisdom is shallow if I rely on it for my esteem or for the furtherance of an agenda that has no eternal merit. So today I question my attitude and my motivation. And as it is so fresh on my mind I am decidedly honored to be asked the all consuming question “do you wanna wrap Bob?” I am thrilled to hear the alphabet sung from two year old lips and watch the contorted face of an infant cease from it’s crying and look at me in relief as I once again put the pacifier back in his mouth. Success!