Days of Sorrow

I’ve sort of been putting off writing lately. Not that I don’t have much to say, rather I have too much.

My heart is full and fullness doesn’t always mean happy I find. Sometimes sorrow mingles in with sweetness and props up our joy with it’s long standing faithfulness to what life on earth is. There are two kinds of sorrow you know. The sorrow that leads to death and the sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Cor. 7:10). I will be careful not to allow my sorrow to shift inward and turn sweet to bitter and silently overtake my joy. It is Godly sorrow that leads me to change, even if it is a simple turning of the head to gain a better view of a Savior who will not disappoint. His faithfulness stays me, and astounds me with it’s glorious detail and obsessive nature. He will not quit.

Kris’ aunt Gloria has been ill for some time and on Friday we learned that her body gave way to cancer’s devouring hand. She continued to pursue God in her final days and confirmed for us there is joy that doesn’t falter even when pain tries desperately to kick it’s feet out from underneath.

She was much too young to have left us like this, but it seems there is no limit to the wicked schemes of sickness and death. We can despise it, but it will not change. We do have the opportunity to overcome it’s intentions, knowing that death is but a doorway and the grave is still without victory. We can rejoice. Life continues and only becomes better for those who lived their days seeking Him. I have been surprised at how confident I have felt in Gloria’s new found peace. To know she is finally free, is wonderfully comforting.

The funeral will take place on Wednesday and Kris’ parents have come from Florida again to hang out for a while until then. There is a lot to do and a lot to think about, decisions to be made and people to consider. We are far enough away that most of the family will not need to stay with us and there is plenty of room at the home of another relative closer to the funeral home and cemetery. Kris is very involved in the decision making process and is gone today taking care of details along with his cousin (Gloria’s son), his dad and another cousin. We (Kris’ mom and I) are at the house enjoying the fire, the kids and of course the beautiful snowfall this morning. Finally the cold rewarded us with snow.

Gloria’s passing has many of us fighting back tears, but we are grateful. So grateful for God’s mercy, His unrelenting presence and passionate care. I am consistently amazed at how big and powerful He is, yet how intimately He knows us. Gloria needed Him. He rescued her. He is delighting in her now, face to face. She is experiencing without distraction the freedom we all are promised. How sweet to know such a Savior.

So with sorrow I face the reality that is death, and allow it to fertilize the promises of eternity that grow thicker and stronger with every soul that passes before me.

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In less melancholy news…yesterday marked 95 years of life for my little Reubmommy. I was able to speak to her on the phone and enjoyed hearing her laughter and relished the soundness still present in her. She had me giggling with her as she talked about some of those around her that have lived longer. She mentioned a cousin who at nearly 100 years passed away recently. The funeral was on Friday she said. After a pause she continued…”yep, some people just keep living and living…and then they still pass away.” She started laughing before the last word was out of her mouth.