Just to get these out of my system I’m going to post them this morning. My cousin Michelle put another one in her comment yesterday. So I didn’t include it here. It was also one of my favorites.
Mary Jane went to the drive-in movies with her boyfriend. She was looking really fine, so he says, “Hey Mary Jane, do you want to sit in the back seat?”. Mary Jane looked at the back seat, then back at her boyfriend.
Mary Jane just laughed and laughed she knew she wanted to sit up front with him.
Mary Jane was crossing the street with her mother. As her mother stooped to pick up a quarter, she was hit by a bus.
Mary Jane laughed and laughed, she knew it was only a nickel.
Mary Jane pushed her brother into the pool. Her mother said, “You know your brother can’t swim!”
Mary Jane laughed and laughed, she knew there wasn’t any water in the pool.
Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, “Help me! Help me!”
Mary Jane laughed and laughed, she knew the shark wasn’t going to help.!
And my personal favorite…
Mary Jane was walking through a cow pasture when she came upon a big, fresh pile of cow manure. On top of this steaming pile of manure was a tiny fly.
Mary Jane laughed and laughed, she knew the fly didn’t do it.
I slept really well last night. Wow…I feel good after that. I still had coughing issues but I was able to get to sleep a lot sooner than the night before and I even feel a little less stuffy this morning. My goal is to go bunk-bed hunting this morning. I’m not totally sure where to start but I’m hoping that the boys will be up for it after their very good night also.
Owen just got up at 7:00 and Ivan is still asleep. They were both exhausted last night. We had Hope and Landis here for most of the day and were outside much of that time. They played hard and got so dirty and worn out. Ivan got an almost two hour nap in the afternoon but that was the extent of rest time. When I said lets go to bed after their baths last night he dropped everything and ran for his room. It’s so sweet when you put them down and then check on them a little later to find that they’ve hardly moved from the position you laid them in.
I had another struggle with Ivan last night regarding his will vs. mine. I made sure to win, but I’ve never seen such refusal to cooperate in such a little kid. He was determined to out-wit me whatever it took. He literally tried to fall asleep on the stairs in order to keep from doing what I was telling him to do. I was watching him force his escape, and was somewhat in awe of his tenacity and ability. It was the same struggle we’ve had before…a toy and it’s location. Toys belong in the play room, not the kitchen or living room. It finally came to he and I sitting at the top of the stair case, him in tears with his hand on his toy. All he had to do was lift it one more step and it would be on the floor of the play room where it belonged. Finally, with all the fierceness of his distaste for it, he placed it there and fell into my lap bawling. Poor baby was so tired and I felt bad that we had to go through all that, but being tired doesn’t allow him to disobey. He clung to me for quite a while after that, but was much happier later as he helped me around the house and got ready for bed.
Mary Jane is kind of a cruel girl, wouldn’t you say? Wow. The harm that comes to her family is terrible. I read the one you posted the other day, and I also read Michelle’s. While yours wasn’t that funny (to me), Michelle’s was morbid. So, I knew that if more came along, they might not all be simply odd, but funny/cruel. Of course, as Mary Jo would say, “Funny beats all”.
I feel like I’ve been scolded for my humor choices. 🙂
Yes, the ridiculously cruel is sort of funny to me. As long as it’s not graphic or gruesome. I do have a line…but Mary Jane doesn’t cross it here. I hope you’re not too disappointed in me.
You should look for bunk beds at American Signature Homes. Quality construction, good prices, and I think you’ll find a style you like. Unless you like those loud colored metal ones;) They have one that can be set up as a loft with both bunks up and room underneath for a desk or whatever. The boys are too small for that now but when they get older it might come in handy.
Awww. I didn’t want it to come off like I was scolding. 🙁 I was more surprised. My jaw dropped and I gasped. They’re just so mean. But, you know I’m not so good at mean/depreciating humor. As Eric says, “Fat Guy falls down is just *funny*”. And as Tisra says, “Um. No its not.” It really boils down to me not having a developed sense of humor. Blame it one my British father. 🙂
Amy – We were just there. I saw the one you’re talking about and thought the same thing…too much for now…Totally pictured Ivan taking a nose dive from the top, but a great idea for later. And really good prices. The simple twin on twin in this style is a good option for us for now. I only went to two places because…shoot, it’s too hot to be dragging the boys around and getting them in and out of the van more than that. Ruled out Ashley furniture and American Signature Home is in the running. We’ll see what else we find as we shop. Maybe I’ll go to Cool Springs tomorrow morning before the party and look at something down there.
Tisra – British humor is some of my favorite and some of that can be very mean as well. But I agree that clever, wordy, make you think about it two weeks later and still laugh humor is the best and the British totally have that quirky clever thing down. Maybe your humor is overdeveloped instead of underdeveloped.
Ok, to add to the mean humor…
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Art
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?
Bob
There are lots more and I know they’re tastless but my choir director used to tell those jokes when we were on choir trips in college and I thought they were very funny at the time- it was probably the company.
Shame on you Amy…you forgot:
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying at the front door?
Matt
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
Two guys with no arms or legs by the window?
Curt and Rod
Ok, y’all have gone cuckoo! LOL
I guess I’m not a Mary Jane fan either. I never laugh when someone falls. I usually cringe and feel their pain!
Good luck finding the beds.
Funny! I knew there were more “no arms no legs ” jokes but I couldn’t remember them.