I promise you all that I was not having a bad day when I wrote yesterday’s post. The incident happened many months ago upon meeting someone that I used to go to church with. I was reminded of it the other night when I saw his picture on the web. This guy was somewhat of a jerk back then. He has changed since then and become successful as a writer, while I, who sort of fell into the “limelight” back then, have been dragged kicking and screaming from it…not really. I think his reaction was based on the past when he felt like he had to compete for “ministry/performance opportunities”. I think when he saw me in a different role it was as if I had betrayed the calling to perform which in the eyes of some is blasphemy. When anyone in a ministry positions goes into a secular position I think people question it. “Were they ever really committed?” I am completely happy where I am, I just don’t like that reaction from people it makes me feel defensive, not sorry for myself, and I wish I could convince others of the importance/joy of what I’ve chosen.
I think anyone who has achieved or has the potential to achieve acclaim, and then chooses to stay home with their children is going to be questioned. As if we are giving up our dreams for them. Oh wait, maybe we are. But it doesn’t change us…we still have all that same ability and talent and potential, we are just redirecting it.
I really believe what I wrote. I wasn’t trying to convince myself of anything. I think a lot of the e-mails and essays we see about motherhood have had it wrong calling our children “our calling” and the “fruit of our labor”. I think children are the fruit of our womb as the Bible says and they do bear a strong mark from our ability to pass on wisdom, discipline, talents and abilities, but they are not our masterpieces. They are God’s workmanship and our inspiration. I think they are gifts from God to me that make me a better representation of God, not the other way around. Yes, I have a responsibility to give them all the love, knowledge, understanding and wisdom that I can, but where do I get that? From God of course. I am nothing without Him. I am not absolving my calling to invest in their lives, I am simply saying, that they will not be the only thing that gives my life purpose. My life will go on after they have flown from the nest and my opportunities to minister will only be strengthened because of what I was taught as a mother of young children.
As far as my calling and vocation and the exercise of my talents, I feel that God’s calling has not changed for me. I just have a smaller audience. The spotlight has gone off but the training continues and the opportunity to minister has heightened. I am much smarter now than I was under the spotlight and if ever it shines on me again, I will be able to use it’s glow more wisely. And my children, who I am continuing to invest in, will bear a return to me in their own service to God.
One of the mistakes I think Christians make is to declare that someone in a public Christian-oriented job is “in the ministry” while others are not. We are all called to be ministers of the gospel, shining His light, and leading the unsaved to a knowlege of thier Saviour. In fact, some of the more effective ministers are those whom have no badge. You’re doing a good job, Mommy, keep it up!
Tisra – Yes, I agree. I almost put quotes around those words: ministry and secular, because they really are only labels we have made, when in fact we are all called to be in the work of the Kingdom wherever we are and in whatever we are doing.
Very well said ladies. I completely agree and I only wish that I learned that while I was in college rather than 8 years after the fact.
Mary you write so expressively, and say so many things I wish I had been able to say. Please write a book!
What do you think, Mary’s friends?
just remember how successful your mom was
Mary, you would be a great author. I totally know there are people out there who don’t get the whole mommy-calling-thing. I ‘m just glad I don’t deal with too many!