Have you ever met up with someone from years ago and as you talked with them you felt this coldness come over the conversation that quickly chills you and sends you packing? It silently moves up your spine and across each shoulder letting you know that this person doesn’t want to talk to you and you are wasting their very important time. It all begins by the two of you laying the ground work for who you both are now, saying, yes I got off the road when I got married and yes we have children which usually leads to what you are doing now. And when you say you stay home with said children, they get this glazed over look as if you just developed a case of zipper-down-itis or salad-stuck-in-your-teeth-syndrome and they don’t want to act like they notice it. So they smile and stare at the middle of your forehead knowing you’ll notice sooner or later and take your cue to return to the other side of the velvet rope. You quickly sum up whatever boring idiom you were spewing and say something like “yes, two boys, so we’d better get going now I think I smell the laundry burning” because you can tell they’ve completely turned you off anyway and you can’t wait to appease them by leaving. All the while feeling some form of anger that makes you want to waste their time by continuing to talk, but submitting to the realization that that form of revenge only wastes your time as well. You walk away feeling like an idiot, but reminding yourself of all the things that you have accomplished and trying to explain to no one in particular that you are indeed very important and incredibly talented and successful and if they only knew how many other important people depend on and believe in you they would be asking for your autograph. Suddenly you are jolted from your revelry as your three year old says…”mommy, I got a booger” and you know that there is no classy way to solve the little problem at the end of his finger. You think to yourself…”wow, I’m everything that guy thinks I am. I’m a nobody who could have been a somebody if I’d chosen differently.” And then you start looking into those little faces in front of you and try to remind yourself that they’re worth it. You look for some beautiful gleam in their eye, you wait for some mother/son moment that belongs in your unfinished scrapbook, something to justify your decision to be “just a mom” and all you can muster from them is some incoherent mumble about wanting to play Superman. So you let the humility of motherhood soften you a little, you wipe the snotty hand clean, and you wonder what that other guy is going to have to go through to make him get on his knees and serve somebody smaller than he is. Suddenly you don’t need a “moment”, you’ve already made your decision and you wouldn’t trade it for all the screaming fans in the world. That’s the point. Not because they’re worth it, but because you’re doing what you decided to do and you are successful at it. Of course they’re worth it, they are worth every ounce of your talented time. They are worth every tiny morsel of your ability to manage, organize, cram, sing, draw, write and teach. Not because they are your masterpiece, because they are your inspiration and they bring out more of the artist in you than any performance or exam or college term paper. You chose this because somehow you knew how good it would be and in serving those little people who don’t even know you have a life, you are living more abundantly than you ever dreamed.
Have you ever had that happen?
Maybe, it’s just me.
WOW! What an idiot. There was an ad out several years ago which has stuck with me ever since. It said “What idiot ever coined the phrase Stay-At-Home Mom?” I the picture was a mom with an ice cream cone about to splatter, one kid half hanging on and half off, minivan with door ajar, and a look of go-go-go on the mom’s face. I thought it was such a clever ad, but no matter how much positive marketing we give the “Stay-At-Home Mom” (forgive the term) there will probably always be people who can’t relate to her choice to make mothering and wifery (if that’s a word) a full time job.
Yes, that has totally happened to me. Motherhood is full of humility, sacrifice, and selflessness. And, as we know, not all days are full of those precious sweet frameable moments. So, it would seem that motherhood also teaches perseverance and confidence. Perseverance to continue on in spite of the rough days and confidence in yourself, knowing that you are right where you are supposed to be.
My mom was a “housewife”, and the current trend is “stay-at-home-mom”. More, and more, I like the term “homemaker”. They are all just words that can’t fully describe our “real jobs” but at least “homemaker” doesn’t limit the title to actions just involving the ‘mother’ or ‘wife’ bit.
I’m sure I have had this happen, but I probably just went on and on oblivious to the other person’s pain. LOL I really don’t think I let it bother me since I am so convicted that being at home with my girls is just where God would have me right now.
hmmm, no this hasn’t happened to me…at least not that I have noticed. I would have to say that if said person were female and if said person had children, that I would walk away feeling sorry for her and her children becuse they were both missing out.
I love staying home. I am proud of my husband for working hard so that I can and honestly I don’t think there is anyone who could make me feel bad about it!
So chin up my friend! Your job is harder and more fulfilling than any career could possibley be…at least in my humble opinion.
So you said “someone from years ago” and not a friend from years ago? I’ll take it that you two weren’t very close so it really doesn’t matter what they think. You’re living your dream and that’s all that matters to you and to the people that are close to you.
Of course if I went to a High School or College reunion I’d have difficulty holding my head up high and tell everyone that I used to dream about the future with that I’m a stay at home Mom. It’s tough to feel like your not measuring up or that you haven’t been successful enough I think most stay at home moms struggle with that- wether you always dreamed of being a wife and mom or not. But the most important thing in life is being what YOU were created to be and to know that you are in the center of God’s will. I truly feel your pain but you have a huge network of people that have your back and it will be OK.