Their idols are silver and gold,
The work of man’s hands.They have mouths, but they cannot speak;
They have eyes, but they cannot see;They have ears, but they cannot hear;
They have noses, but they cannot smell;They have hands, but they cannot feel;
They have feet, but they cannot walk;
They cannot make a sound with their throat.Those who make them will become like them,
Everyone who trusts in them.Psalm 115:4-8
As I read this passage this morning the last verse made me ask, “How am I like my idols?”
First, I had to identify what my idols are. What do I worship? What are my soul cravings?
I am grateful that I can say it wasn’t easy to identify. I have lived knowing God must be first in my life, and chosen my steps as well as I can to live with that integrity. I do still sin though. I still find I need to repent. This tells me that I still put other things outside of their boundaries at times, and though they may seem small, even trivial, I am not without fault in bowing to silver and gold.
For me personally, it’s setting myself into places of ministry, it’s finding importance in the church, and desiring ways to offer what I have to others.
Sounds terrible, doesn’t it?
It really is, and I don’t wish to make light of that. If I carve out ministry for myself, I am a false teacher. If I carve out importance for myself, I am a liar. If I insist on leading, where I am only meant to follow, I am on the path to destruction.
If I carve out an idol from the holiness of God’s church, the church loses integrity.
It’s an idol of the worst kind; hard to identify, and difficult to irradicate.
How am I like my idol?
I strive for performance in my behavior. How can I be perfect, without blemish, without fault, without error?
In that quest, I only end up with a mouth that cannot speak, eyes that cannot see, ears that cannot hear, a nose that cannot smell, hands that cannot feel, feet that cannot walk, and a throat that makes no sound. It is not that I physically bear these traits, it is that all I see, hear, and smell, etc., is false.
I am aiming at deception. I am loving what is worthless. (Psalm 4:2)
How can I know… how do I know when I’m truly abiding in His holiness, instead of trying to replace it? I have been deeply involved in pure ministry in the past, but I’ve also cranked the wheel, and moved the cogs, to perform ministry.
God still works in my performance. It seems contrary to what should be, but He cares too much for His children to make me of no affect. He isn’t limited by my motives. His Word does not return void. But I may.
My desires must never get ahead of God’s direction, or I will end as empty as the idol of ministry I crave.
He must lead me beside quiet streams, and show me the folly of roaring crowds.
I am determined to become like Him.
I am determined to carry the water to every altar and douse my efforts before I ask God to light them.
I am determined to send warriors home, and face my enemies with the confidence of obedience instead of numbers.
I am determined to jump from perfectly good boats, to walk where I cannot leave footprints.
I am determined to walk worthy of the calling I have received, and ignore the beckoning of culture to make something of myself.
I know He has called me; I need not excavate my path. He goes before me, and makes a way.