As I drove the 20 minute drive between my church and the grocery store the other day I witnessed three different drivers trying to get wherever they were going from the wrong lane.
The first one was something simple, the driver needed to go straight but had driven into the left turn lane and needed an assist from another car to let them slip in with the other drivers going across the intersection when the light turned green. No one was really held up by this, and it was easily forgiven.
The second driver wanted to turn right but was in the far left lane of a five lane intersection. He or she had to cross three lanes to make the turn needed and simply waited until there was no traffic and proceeded with an almost legal right on red maneuver. It was clearly wrong, but didn’t keep people waiting long.
The third was much more problematic, and potentially dangerous. I pulled into the turn lane to go into the grocery store. My light was green, but because I was turning left, I had to wait on oncoming traffic to disperse. At first I was engrossed in the cars coming toward me, looking for a sufficient gap where I could zoom into the plaza. Then I noticed there were three cars in the drive coming out of the plaza and one of them was using the entrance lane as her left turn lane, blocking anyone from being able to turn in to the plaza. Had I tried to zoom in I would have likely hit her, or been hit when left stranded in the intersection with nowhere to go.
Opposite me, cars began pulling into the right hand turn lane to go into the plaza and were also stymied by this poor confused driver. I could see her looking side to side from her mini-van driver seat. Obviously aware, too late, that she was in the wrong place. Traffic piled up in the right turn lane and she grew increasingly agitated. Why she didn’t just back up and put herself in another position is probably a testament to stress clouding judgment, and I can’t say I would be less freaked out when the line of people annoyed with me is growing by the second. I would not have wanted to be her.
I just remember sitting safely in my lane thinking how strange that my short drive would have this many instances of people setting themselves in the way of others because they got in the wrong lane.
And I mulled a bit, as to significance. Was this simply happenstance? Coincidental oddities that happen all the time, but I was on the right route to witness them that day? I don’t know. I like to learn from things though, so I asked God if there were something I could take with me.
Stay in your lane.
We’ve all heard that phrase. We know what it means. To stay in your lane is to stick to what you know, and not attempt to try to influence where others have more expertise. This morning as I was washing dishes and feeling a little guilty about some of the other things I hadn’t yet done today, I tried to think of ways I could multi-task. “I could at least be listening to a pod-cast while I’m standing here,” I thought.
Holy Spirit said, “Just wash dishes.”
And I knew. I knew that no matter how small or insignificant the task, being present is better than being productive. I knew that staying in the moment was better than staying ahead. I knew that when I try to do more than what is in front of me, I’m doing what isn’t mine to do. I’m not staying in my lane, and eventually I’m going to get in someone’s way.
As a mother, that’s so important to remember. It’s important to consider how just a little bit of my distraction or my hovering changes their security. When they are little I need to be present! I need to stay in my lane by staying with them. Now that they are bigger, I need to stay in my lane by letting the Holy Spirit influence them.
They are all three at camp this week. They are out of my hands and I’ve heard things from others that have been there with them. I’ve heard about hard fought victories, humble worship, and healthy camaraderie. I can’t do that for them. My best play as mom of teens, is to watch from the lane I’m assigned, and never keep the Holy Spirit from taking them where they need to go. It’s hard sometimes. It’s hard to watch and not honk my horn and insist they listen to me. They do listen to me, but it’s with an ear that is maturing and learning to discern what is important for themselves. They are respectful, and independent. And I am loving it. I can be present because I’m not trying to be in control of all they are. I’ve given them to God, again and again, I’ve given them to Him. It’s the definition of taking His yoke, and as I stay on my side of His yoke I can rest. Just as He promised, I find joy, and peace, and sweet rest for my soul.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.
Matthew 11:29