I still have a few more things to take care of. There are some grades to send in to their home-school umbrella. There are some books to give away, and some books to sell, and some boxes to clean out. There are some things to consider. Do I need to keep all these pencils? Do I need this electric pencil sharpener? Are they ready?
That’s the big one. Are they ready? They are going to public school next year and it isn’t easy to say goodbye to what we’ve enjoyed so much. I’ve prayed about it, of course. I’ve asked God to confirm that this is right, and I believe He has. I’ve read Scriptures that encourage me, and there is a part of me that is extremely excited.
Part of me is so emotional though. What if I’m taking them from what is best? What if they won’t be challenged enough? What if the challenge is too much? What if they shrink from the deluge of interaction, and expectation? What if I didn’t cover enough material? What if they aren’t ready?
And so I stop, and I look back at where we’ve been, and who they’ve become. I’m very proud of them. I am. I know they will be okay. I know they ARE okay. I also know that transition, and change, and different is hard, but doing what is hard was part of what we learned.
Heart-schooling included education, but it was much more than that. As a heart-schooling teacher I attempted to draw them up to different heights than what they were used to, in order to give them a different perspective. Looking over all aspects of their character and personality to see where they can best contribute. I looked back at our mission. I had written it out so I wouldn’t forget and lose focus…
Education is a tool we are offered for living out the life God has created us to excel in.
I do not need my boys to simply be unique. I do not need them to only be full of knowledge. I don’t expect them to conquer a class in order to attain a badge or certificate. My desire first and foremost is that they know the voice and nudging of the Holy Spirit. Beyond that, I want them to see clearly the path laid specifically for their feet and the gate that only the humble can pass through, and desire the privilege of passing through these challenges.
Education for us is the sustenance of the mind as we follow our heart.
“Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4
And I remembered that all the ground we face, is simply a way to practice the ground we’ve covered.
They aren’t always going to do well. They aren’t always going to be right. They aren’t always going to speak well of me, and their dad, and even their God. They are going to fail now and then to represent well, the things we’ve done. It’s okay though. They are going to succeed now and then too.
Being ready isn’t about being ahead, or being perfect. Being ready is about taking the first step knowing Who goes ahead of you. They are, in that sense, very ready.