Owen has been busy. He’s in theater, has a job, and likes to stay involved in church activities. He’s gone until 6:30 three nights a week with rehearsals, doesn’t get home until 8:30 from his shift on Friday nights and 9:30 on Saturday nights. The other two nights of the week are for church activities. It’s a lot. But it hasn’t been too much so far, and I’m so grateful we didn’t start this whirlwind when the boys were little.
Owen’s theater teacher really enjoys him, and has encouraged him so much. She’s pushed him to try things, and appreciates his commitments to his faith and his character. She asked him to pray for someone she is concerned about the other day, she knows he goes to church and she knows there are certain things he won’t say, or participate in. She knows there are things I won’t let him do as well. Kris and I have said no to some of the scripts the school has chosen for plays and musicals. As his parents we are determined to set standards and stick with them. For Owen’s sake we have to be consistent in setting an example of what it means to have boundaries and to thrive within those hard drawn lines.
Interestingly, it’s sometimes hard to explain those boundaries. They can seem arbitrary to the outside observer. Owen has said no to plays that I felt were glorifying fear. The teacher’s didn’t understand. They thought I was protecting him from fear. I’m not concerned that Owen will take part in a play and have nightmares. I’m against the theme as a whole, so I don’t want to support it. On the other hand, we agreed with Owen that he would not audition for a part in the musical last year, after they chose to do a script that would have put him directly in the middle of scantily clad girls dancing and singing in provocative ways. In this case we were opposed to both what it would do to Owen, as well as the theme. Big NOPE. In all of this we’ve seen the teachers react to us respectfully, but slightly confused. I don’t think they see parents saying “no” to the things their kids are into very often. And let me assure you it wasn’t easy. Owen has said he wants to do theater for a living. He wants it to be his career. How do you look at a kid who has limited opportunity to take part in something he loves and tell him he can’t participate?
Faith.
Faith allows us to take risks in what we do, and it also allows us to take risks in what we won’t do. It feels like refusing to take part in something like this is crushing him, like I’m taking away any chance he has of having his talents seen. I can’t look at life that way though. I can only look at the Word, and at the God I know as Father, and trust Him to make Owen’s path clear and substantial. He alone knows how far Owen will go with his talents, and He alone knows how much further obedience will take him.
I have seen it in my own life. I have seen the opposite in other lives. I see God using our faith in stepping back from opportunities, to shift us into better opportunities. I know Him. I know He will give Owen better opportunities. Those opportunities may not be in theater, and he may feel disappointed at first. God doesn’t disappoint though. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He will do things we didn’t expect. Sometimes God picks us right up out of what we were into, and throws us into an ocean of joy we had no idea was waiting for us.
He did for me. Again, and again, He did that for me. Obedience, trust, faithfulness in the little things, these are the building blocks of a blessed life. We are alive in a kingdom that isn’t confined to the limits of this world’s opportunities. We are children of a King who makes opportunities.
For not from the east, nor from the west,
Nor from the desert comes exaltation;
But God is the Judge;
He puts down one and exalts another.
Psalm 75:6-7
Do you see a man skilled in his work?
He will stand before kings;
He will not stand before obscure men.
Proverbs 22:29
for it is God who is at work in you,
both to will and to work for His good pleasure.
Philippians 2:13
And that last verse…that’s the bend in the road for our thinking. If we don’t have the attitude that extends beyond our own success and realizes our path is always, always, always a result of redemption from the life we would have lived without Him, we won’t see all He has for us. He saves us, changes us, leads us, and offers us abundant life…”for His good pleasure.”
In that good pleasure there is freedom. In His pleasure is our satisfaction, because He is in us, and we are in Him.
In that day you will know
that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.
John 14:20 (Jesus)
He cannot experience good pleasure without it also affecting us and becoming our pleasure.
What fear then, could ever withstand the ultimate joy of sinking ourselves as deeply as possible into His presence? Under His wings anxiety is fully suffocated as we breathe His love slow and deep.
Faith.
Faith says I am never risking anything.