Quivers, Arrows and Straight Shots

On Father’s Day I posted on facebook that my best parenting decision, aside from my choice to follow Christ, was marrying my husband Kris. I meant that, and this past week reinforced that idea in my head.

It seemed that Psalm 127 was quoted numerous times over the past week while I was visiting family in Michigan, in different conversations with different people and about different things, but it rang in my heart that there was something important to share and so I’m writing.

Mothers carry, birth and nurture children. We are, if I do say so myself, pretty amazing. We are geared to care for the greatness of our children and to gently grow in them the seeds of potential that God planted. Fathers, it would seem, have a different role. They think differently and therefore have a different perspective on their children’s growth and maturity. Do they nurture as well? Of course they do. They do a lot of the things mamas do, just as mamas do a lot of the things daddies do. I see in this Scripture that they have a unique purpose in their children’s lives though. Not something so unique that a mama can’t do it, but unique in that, they are better outfitted by God to pull it off.

Father’s are marksmen. They are the ones wearing the quiver and pulling those arrows out to shoot them as straight as possible toward a goal. They do not carry them all the way to their intended future, they carry them to the best place to take a shot.

Last week I watched a father, my cousin Regina’s husband Merlin Bontrager, say goodbye to his oldest son. Not a hug at the airport, no, much more heart breaking, a final word of appreciation at the funeral of his son, on what would have been his 22nd birthday. I didn’t see him breaking down in fear, doubt or questions, instead there was a peaceful assurance amidst the undeniable sorrow that young Brett was with his Heavenly Father.

My cousin’s son had been overseas in Thailand preparing for the grueling task of distributing Bibles and sharing the gospel in a treacherous environment. On the last leg of a 10k run his body collapsed with heatstroke and his spirit ran through to the arms of His Savior.

As I leaned into the Word and went through the sweet verses of Psalm 127, I saw something new, at least to me.

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
They will not be ashamed
When they speak with their enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:3-5

It seemed so comforting. No matter how close the target, how short the flight, if the arrow is shot straight and true, the reward is great. I sat through this funeral service with tears in my eyes and a hope in my heart, that my boys will reach their goal with the same passion and fervor that young Brett did. My heart is not, at least it shouldn’t be, longing for a deep friendship with my adult children someday. Raising my sons is not my gift to myself and the hope of cute grand-babies in my future. I do want them to live long, healthy, useful lives, but that’s not the goal. According to Philippians 3:10, the goal is to KNOW HIM.

“that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;”

When we know Him, all the other stuff falls into place. Matthew 6 tells us to seek Him first. In John 17 Jesus says that knowing God IS eternal life. At the funeral there was an explanation of what it is to KNOW God. Knowing about, having information and even meeting someone is very different to an intimate knowledge. God isn’t interested in our ability to recite Scripture, though knowledge of Him is fed by such information. He is much more interested in having a relationship with us.

Brett was the first arrow in his dad’s quiver. He was carried over many hilltops and through many valley’s on his daddy’s back. Witnessing the power of God through sorrow and pain, joy and victory and when Merlin drew out the arrow to send him off, you couldn’t ask for a better shot. Brief was it’s flight, but it was so straight it was pulled out from deep in the center of the cross. Brett knew his heavenly Father and shared in the suffering of Christ, conformed to His death, he now knows the power of His resurrection so beautifully as he worships His Savior face to face.

Just as my goal isn’t for my children to have a long happy life, it isn’t for an early death either. My hope and prayer for my children is to be always traveling the path to knowing Him more. I am not their daddy and though I get to contribute so much to their future, it will be the hand of their daddy that strings the bow, pulls back and aims their life in the right direction. It is his life, his example, his teaching and his encouragement that will propel them to the mark God has set for them. How many lives can one man reach? It isn’t in his evangelistic ministry or his giving record that we find the answer, it’s in the lives of his children. They are his arrows, they are the tools of the warrior that leave the greatest legacy. When a dad aims the lives of his children toward Christ, he will never be ashamed when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. When he tackles the doubts of his own life, when he crushes the shame of his own past, when he contends with the words of unbelief and discouragement at the doorstep of his home.

How important it is to marry a man who knows the Word. It is even more important to pray for that man. Maybe you didn’t marry a Christian man, maybe he was or is immature in his faith, maybe you are prodding him to take a more prominent role in positive parenting, it’s never too late. Pray for God’s blessing on your warrior. Pray for God to minister, teach and strengthen his hands for war (Deut. 24:19, Neh. 6:9, Psalm 18:34). Pray that God would give him enlightened, focused and guarded eyes to see the goal accurately (Psalm 19:8, Psalm 25:15, Psalm 101:3). We wives are not the marksman, but we have a great role in building him up, for our children’s sake.

In trying to identify him when Brett was found collapsed on the trail he was running, the only thing that was found in his pocket was a small piece of paper with these words written on it.

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14 (ESV)

That is who he was and is. My hope is that my children can be so clearly identified on the path they are running.