Helper, the Friendly Lion

Summer break is officially over. Friday was the first day of school for our boys. It was a big day, a big weekend and a big joy.

My fun loving, social boy, Aron, has been ready for school for months and months. He’s been chomping at the bit to go, absolutely in tears over the idea that he had to stay home and wanting nothing more than to be doing what his brothers are doing.

Finally, it was time. Thursday I asked him, “Aron, can you believe it’s actually happening? You get to go to school tomorrow!”

He didn’t look at me, just held my hand, looked straight ahead and changed the subject.

I thought that was odd behavior for him, but chalked it up to distraction. Later, I noticed he was acting very clingy.

Then I noticed how much he was tattling on his brothers.

I decided he needed a nap. He must be tired, we were still fresh from our trip to Michigan, my cousin and her family were visiting and he is simply worn out from changes around him. No big deal.

During his nap time he started crying. His belly hurts, his throat hurts and this… “I might be sick, I don’t think I should go to school tomorrow. I should probably wait a few days.”

Oh my heart.

I laid down with him, held his hand, made him close his eyes, hoping he would sleep. Hoping he wouldn’t see me cry for him.

I translated my questions to God, his hurt belly is a new insecurity, is he okay? Where did this come from?

He did sleep and the afternoon was much the same as the morning. He slept well overnight though and woke smiling. He told me he dreamed. That never happens. Something about eating lunch at school and he had only smiles.

Over breakfast he sat beside me in his freshly washed school clothes, smiling through a plate of eggs and toast with nothing but excitement over his day. He looked up at me and said, “mom, you know what my other dream was?”

Of course I didn’t and he gave me trembles when he told me how he and Ivan had been able to play with a lion. A friendly lion, who protected good people and helped them conquer things they were trying to do. They decided to name him Helper.

“Was he a real lion?” I asked? “Was he like Aslan?”

“He was real and we could pet him, but he didn’t talk.”

I smiled and told him how I wish I could have a dream like that. I wondered to myself if God had given him a dream to comfort him. “Was that you?” I asked Him.

We were soon scurrying out the door to be on time for the first day and still get some pictures taken and I wondered all the way to school if I were over-analyzing a five year old’s silly dream.

We were soon scurrying out the door to be on time for the first day and still get some pictures taken and I wondered all the way to school if I were over-analyzing a five year old’s silly dream.

When I got home I sat down at the computer and looked at Facebook. I had a message from my friend Mindy that said this…

Your post made me think that while I was up in the night with Sullivan (around 3AM) you and Aron popped in my mind out of nowhere and I prayed (quickly, I admit since I was tired) that you are blessed in your new role as a mom with no kids at home. I imagine I’ll need the favor returned one day.

Then I cried.

This had been a very busy time at our house, and though I had prayed for Aron, I had not even thought to pray for myself. I was tired, down right worn out from vacation, travel and preparation for school. My obligations were keeping me moving much of the time and I had prayed out of my own worry, rather than out of the faith it takes to let a child leave your arms and still believe God has good things for him or her.  I was praying for Aron to feel better.  Mindy prayed that I would be blessed. 

I didn’t even see that I was lacking in faith.  I didn’t notice my own fears creeping up on me.  Aron’s dream came, not just to answer my prayer for his comfort, but to simultaneously answer the prayer that I would KNOW God is able to care for my kids in ways and at times that I am not able.  The boys would all three be in school and I would no longer be their full time influencer.  God let me know in that moment that He was in control.

I could have felt guilty about my inadequacy in that moment.  I could have chastised myself for not having the faith I should have had, but I didn’t.  I felt humbled and grateful.  In that moment I came face to face with my inadequacy.  I was standing at that precipice of impending defeat and I saw something beautiful. 

I saw grace.

Grace showed up when I was weak.  Grace showed up from a friend, who was full of grace enough herself to follow the sweet nudge of the Holy Spirit and ask God to give Aron what he needed to start school, and his mama enough faith to watch him do it.  She had no idea of my concern for him, she simply wanted God to bless me. 

We ask for prayer a lot, we ask for a hand, we ask for encouragement and we ask for time. This time I didn’t even know to ask and God showed up with a friend willing to share her stillness with me.

Humbled,
Honored,
Happy.

That’s me.