Fresh air doesn’t come in a can. It’s not on a store shelf or on Amazon. Sure you can get reproduced air that’s filtered to be close to fresh, but fresh air still has the real in it. It’s not perfectly free of smells, or doctored to only smell like citrus or honeysuckle. It’s got a little flower and a little cut grass, a little cow manure and a little hay bale, a little fabric softener and a little dirt, and the best kind has a little something home baked in there too.
That’s the way I like it anyway.
Fresh air doesn’t have to be completely free of everyday average smells to be good. It doesn’t even have to overpower it, fresh is the un-doctored pleasant that real life produces.
Recently I realized, just as smells linger in some places, emotions will associate themselves with a location as well. I had to stop by Ivan’s class room and his teacher whispered something so sweet to me about his test scores. We were both very surprised at how well he had done and I nearly teared up at the thought of his determination and persistence paying off. I called Kris on the way home and relayed my joy to him as we pulled into the garage. Later, after emotions had subsided into laundry and dishes, I got back in the van to run some errands. It was very interesting to me that as I got back into my seat, I was immediately taken back to the emotions I had last felt in that same spot. As if returning to that condition, view, position and all other similarities took me back to the same feeling as well. I was truly emotional all over again remembering what I last thought about from that seat, though it didn’t last as long.
Right away I explored the analogy and felt compelled to write about it. Of course not all smells are good. I love walking into my house from picking up the boys and smell the bread I pulled out of the oven hours earlier. I despise walking into my house after taking them to school, only to find that there were raw meat scraps left in the garbage overnight and the whole kitchen stinks of it.
These bad smells are a lot like negative emotions and the only way to get rid of them is fresh air. Sure a can of Lysol helps, but nothing works as well as an open window and a stiff breeze. How do you blow fresh air into a bad emotion though?
Forgiveness.
It’s that simple/complicated.
The sooner I forgive, the sooner I free that negative emotion from my home, and more specifically, my reading corner, my phone, where I quilt and from my bedroom. How easy it is to let them linger, to allow them to soak into the mattress we lie on, to let them hover over the couch we communicate on, to let them infiltrate the dinner table and spoil the bread we eat and embitter the water we drink. As the hurt penetrates our thoughts, we have to be willing to look not only at how deeply we are wounded, but how long we want to bleed, and how spattered and stained we are willing to make our entire home.
Along those lines, did you know the Bible doesn’t tell us to *vent?
Nope, not one verse about the benefits of murmuring to a friend. We do carry each others burdens and we sharpen each other with challenges and encouragement, but we are never instructed to complain, “get if off your chest” or gossip, which is typically what venting becomes.
In fact Kris has taught in our Sunday school class that “venting, is Satan’s counterfeit for casting your cares on God.”
Unlike venting, forgiveness is an open window. Air travels both directions and we are not just blowing off the steam of our circumstances, but the Holy Spirit is a wind that blows into that spot we’ve opened up. Love, grace, joy and contentment, like fresh air, blow in as we direct the pain and weariness out.
Forgiveness doesn’t come in a can, it’s not on a store shelf and you can’t buy it on Amazon. Sure you can put on a stiff upper lip and fake that you’re fine, but true forgiveness still has the real in it. It’s not free of circumstances, or doctored only to be expressed as too tough to be hurt. It’s got a little growth and a little pruning, a little hurt and a little nurture, a little mercy and a little truth and the best kind has a little hugging and kissing in there too.
*by venting I am not talking about getting spiritual counsel, or telling a strong and trusted friend about an abusive situation that you need to be free from. In such cases, you are NOT venting, you are seeking God’s perfect freedom and taking back the purpose and joy that the enemy wishes to steal from you.
Related article: What’s That Smell?
I agree that it’s imperative to use wisdom in who we share our difficulties and frustrations with. There is a very small group of people with whom I share and that I allow to speak into my life. Otherwise it’s just talking or wanting others to know we’ve been hurt and that leads to a really bad place. That’s not Holy Spirit led, that’s being led by the flesh.
So true. I have been in on way too many gossip sessions disguised as healthy venting. I’ve also been struck by how, sometimes, prayer/prayer requests are used for the same thing.
I’ve just heard that phrase “I just need to vent” from people so often and I understand the feeling of desiring a release, but I also know that if more of us would verbalize to God first, we’d A) feel better and B) hear the bitterness in our own voice and gain a little better perspective on our pain before we talk to anyone else. In other words, venting to God allows us to get the junk out of our story, so we don’t make a fool of ourselves to our friends.