I love to display my kid’s artwork. I have to rotate it out regularly and make room for more fabulous drawings and paintings.
I’ll be honest, I don’t always like what they make. Sometimes I don’t see the value in the subject, sometimes I have to ask what it is, sometimes I have to ask which way is up, so that I hang it right. The point is not that I think they are all talented artists, the point is that I take them seriously.
On the way to Target this morning, Aron asked me if he could ride in the cart because his belly hurts. I waited to answer, because I honestly didn’t know whether I should take him seriously or not.
He has had issues with his stomach. We’ve realized that milk and certain acidic foods are problematic for him. We’ve adjusted things, which has definitely helped, but he still complains some. Unfortunately, his complaints often come when there’s some opportunity he can take advantage of. Eating a dinner with veggies he’s not fond of, “mom, I can’t eat any more, my tummy hurts.”
A long walk to the van, “mom, will you carry me, my tummy hurts.”
You get the idea. My inclination is to ignore the hurt and tell him to tough it out, but I want to be careful. Careful to know the truth.
Instead of answering I told him I would have to pray about it. I did pray. I asked God what to do. “Am I encouraging him to manipulate me if I listen to him?”
He spoke up from the back, “mom, when I pray I say, ‘God our Father, God our Father…'”
I commented on his little song and said, “that’s not praying for your belly though Aron.” I explained that God is listening to us, but He wants to hear our heart, not a bunch of words we repeat over and over. Prayer is actually communicating with God, telling Him how we feel and what we want, “He really wants to know,” I said.
I let him process that a bit and I wondered if he believed that God takes him seriously.
It really impacted me to think that every time I laugh at his understanding, push aside his reasoning, pass off his hurts as unreasonable or illegitimate, I am showing him how God feels about him. Kris and I are his example right now. We are the stand in characters for the real thing. He doesn’t understand God as any more loving than he understands our love. He doesn’t internalize his value to God any greater than what we value him. Until he is old enough to truly connect with God on his own, he will look to us to show him who God is.
I had the answer to my prayer.
I am pretty confident his stomach didn’t actually hurt, but it didn’t really matter any more. As I helped him get his legs into the cart he was talking non-stop in his excitement. “Now I’m high up mom, and I can reach you to kiss you.”
He doesn’t internalize his value to God any greater than what we value him.
Worship, adoration, love and being accepting of all that love, like displays of crayon art and homemade Mother’s day cards splashed across my counters. I am learning to love the way God does, to take seriously every ounce of affection, praise and even complaints, because it’s not the ability and not always the motive that matters, it’s how I respond to it that shows him God takes him very, very seriously.