I have been taxiing to the runway for sometime and feel close to getting the green light for takeoff. I have checked and re-checked everything from air in the tires to a new haircut. Now there’s just a few more days to go and my engines will be humming through the air.
So, what in the world am I talking about? I’m talking about Fort Wayne, I’m talking about dreams and vision and the possibility of blowing it. I’m talking about fun and girl time and driving 6 hours all by myself in my husband’s sports car. I think this is going to be GREAT. I just can’t get the “what if” out of my head.
Earlier this year my cousin Cheryl invited me to come and be a part of her church’s annual women’s retreat. This is the kind of thing I have silently hoped for, for years. I knew long ago that God has called me to speak to women. I schemed for a while as to how I could do that. Thinking, as so many passionate souls will do, that a calling meant a commission.
I never stuck my neck out far because I was just smart enough to know a couple of key things that have helped me along the way. One, is that I knew God had other plans for me besides any type of public ministry. I know lots of women travel, parent, bring home the bacon and never let you forget your a man. But that is not the sort of family life I want for me or my family. I’m not saying it can’t or shouldn’t be done, because I think that’s something that some women handle beautifully. I just know I wouldn’t be that beautiful at it. The other key is that I have been led into public ministry before and it was a flawless leading, unmistakably marked in the path I was on. I won’t go forward without those footprints to follow. I guess there’s a third key as well…one that’s developed over time. I’m realizing more and more how little I know. I’m not nearly as anxious to get up and offer wisdom as I become more aware of the difference between what I’ve experienced and what the Holy Spirit reveals through the Word. I can’t ever feel confident in simply what I know. I must have more.
When Cheryl described the event and what they had planned to me she reminded me of the economic trials that many in Northern Indiana are dealing with. The retreat is just that, a retreat. A way to get some perspective by removing the banner of financial struggle and take a look at God’s offer of a lighter burden and an easy yoke. The title she said, would be “Hope, Humor and Helpful Hints” with speakers covering shopping with coupons, cooking frugally and organization. My part would be the hope and humor.
Kris and I prayed about it and both felt that I should do it. God gave me a verse from Isaiah that has been the light unto my path as I study and prepare. Isaiah 50:4 says “The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.” I don’t have to have all the answers, I just have to bring His Word. Of course, I’ll throw in some limericks and a little fun along the way, but I’m believing that God has something deeply comforting to share with these ladies and I’m sort of emotional about the fact that I even get to be there.
There are a few things along the way that are making me nervous. My very excited Owen, who plans his birthday party beginning the day after his birthday party, is turning 6 on Tuesday. His party will be on Thursday and I leave on Friday. I feel a great amount of pressure to make it special for him. The great thing is that my dad is here (staying at my sister’s but in town and available) and I’m sure will help me keep the little one’s occupied this week. Kris’ mom and mema are coming on Wednesday and will help with the party and stay over the weekend while I’m gone. Owen has Grandparents day at school on Friday so I’m super glad that Grandma and Mema can be here for that. I’m just hoping I can be a decent host as well as be fully prepared for Fort Wayne by Friday.
Kris is a big help. He has such a great brain for handling conflict and properly managing time and energy. I always feel better when he makes it all sound doable.
So…this take off is not necessarily a launch into anything new for me. I am not ready to start anything new, but I’m honored and excited about the opportunity. I do feel like it’s a reminder to me that God has a great imagination and never fails to surprise me with fun ways to serve Him.
Just a few more things and then I’ll end this very long post.
Six years ago tonight I was in labor. I stayed in labor for a long time. I just knew that our baby would be born on October 4th, but I was wrong…so, so wrong.
I put a new product on my “cybershelves” at Mary Mary Stationery. I think it’s pretty cute and I hope I sell a few of them. It’s actually something I could reproduce on demand if people liked it.
Limerick Friday. Oh man. I’m sure that everyone understands that I’ve had a lot on my mind. I wouldn’t say I was too busy, just a lot of thoughts beyond limericks I suppose. But to miss two Fridays in a row is a little hard for me to take. Last night I lay in bed and my turning wheels rounded a silly corner and found a limerick…though it’s very late, I will post it none the less.
A Paranoid SueAnne Louise,
Feared her death every time that she sneezed.
She saw a great quack,
And though symptoms she lacked,
Felt at peace when he found a disease.
I think this may be one of my favorite limericks you’ve done!
Mary, I know that you have a LOT to juggle this week. I’m not going to say that it can all be done and will “work out fine”, because I personally know that jittery feeling when you’re pushing your organizational limits. When everything has to go at a perfect pace to keep the balance. But, Kris is beside you, able to carry the weight of anything that may fall, and you’ll go off on your trip and have an incredible time! I know God will use you to deliver the hope these women need to rest in, and I feel pretty confident that He will give you some amazing things on this trip, too!
Looking forward to the update when you get back!
I’m so excited that you get to do this! Don’t let those doubts get you down. I think all “performers” have some degree of stage fright but you’ve got the right perspective and it’s going to be fantastic!
I was already excited about this weekend. This only makes me moreso! I’ll keep praying that the week goes well for you and you have the time to get done the things that need to be. Enjoy your trip in the fun car:) I’m looking forward to seeing you on Friday!
Oh my! So exciting! I know the Lord will speak through you. Isn’t it funny how our humbling and maturing opens us more to be vessels for Him to use? Having less of what we think we know leaves room for what He really has to offer.
Can NOT wait to hear you this weekend! Cheryl told me about your speaking at this retreat and I had her sign me up several weeks ago!! So I’ll be making the drive early Saturday morning to Ft. Wayne to hear you and the others. Please don’t be nervous….I’m sure you will be just great!!!
I’m just plain excited to get a day with out wiping any bottoms but my own. 🙂