A while back I took Owen and Ivan and myself in for dental appointments and Aron had to go with us because he belongs to me. The appointments were staggered a bit and the two boys were done a little before I was. Aron, who had been going back and forth between the two work areas, had the opportunity to pick out a new toothbrush along with his brothers. When they all came rushing in to show me what they had picked I was a little surprised to see that while Ivan and Owen had both chosen Cars characters (Lightning and Mater) for their toothbrushes, Aron had decided on a little pink number with a princess (I’m pretty sure it’s Cinderella) on it. We all sort of chuckled about it and I decided to let him keep it. It is just a toothbrush after all and a free one at that.
A few weeks later when the boys were getting baths and I was getting toothbrushes ready for them. Aron was all cleaned up and sort of giving a play by play on what I was doing. “Owen’s toothbrush. Ivan’s toothbrush. Aron’s toothbrush.”
Then he pointed to his and said “mommy.”
I said, “no that’s a princess.”
He quickly said, “no that’s mommy.”
Of course I thought that was pretty sweet. He wasn’t picking a princess toothbrush because he’s gender confused or prefers pink, Cinderella or princesses to cars and Spiderman. He picked it because it had a girl on it, and as far as he’s concerned, all girls are mommy. I am his super hero right now and I’m pretty excited about that.
Just a little while ago I had to fly upstairs and make fear and sadness disappear for him. Something woke him and he was not easily convinced that going back to bed was a good option. I held him, sang to him and prayed over him and he still cried pitifully when I left his room. It didn’t last long though and I’m confident that the sleepiness won out over the fear or disappointment or whatever it was that troubled him.
Those moments are difficult. I am always trying so hard to figure out what to do and try to fix it. But when I just look at where I am, who I’m holding, and how precious it is to feel little hands clinging to my neck, I am suddenly at peace with bringing peace. I will most likely never know what was really bothering him but I don’t have to figure it out, I just have to be available for those moments. I have the opportunity to comfort him, just by sitting on the floor by his bed and singing him a song. I have the opportunity to strengthen him by leaving him awake in the dark. I have the opportunity to build independence and confidence in him, every time I convince him he’s loved. That is a precious and gentle kind of power.
I read a Scripture the other day that melted me. I just love it. It’s Psalm 18:35.
“Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.”
I have the opportunity, because I’m created in the image of the same God that David is talking about here, to make my children great with my gentleness. Gentleness is a powerful tool in the lives of our children. We can make them great with our gentleness.
So many women seem to want to apologize for being feminine. Oh that we could forget “I am woman hear me roar,” and realize what we can do with the unique and powerful gift we have in gentleness.
That is absolutely beautiful. And I think it’s so cool that you found out the reason behind the tooth brush. It could have remained one of those “oh, well, he’s a baby” thing but it didn’t. Very, very cool.
Sigh – it’s such a sweet, sweet thing to be a little boy’s princess and hero. You are such a blessed woman!
I agree with you so much on the subject of being feminine. It’s our gentleness and softness that makes us roar, which I love because it defies conventional wisdom. It’s unexpected.
i really mean it when i say that you need to put alot of your blog entries into a book format, slap an introduction on, and you will have a best seller that would bless mommies everywhere!