Cups on the Edge of the Table

Yesterday on the way home from school Owen was surprised at something we were talking about and responded with, “Oh my gosh!”

I was silent for a moment because, though I agree with most of you that “gosh” is not a bad word, I have tried to teach our boys not to use that word.

I asked him if he uses that word when he’s at school and he of course told me who does use it without really answering the question. I asked him again and he said, “sometimes.”

I asked him if he knew why I don’t want him to use that word and he said he didn’t know, so we talked about it. I explained what slang is and how close the word gosh is to God. I told him that I’ve used that word and others that sound like real bad words, but that I try not to. Lots of people do, and we don’t think badly of people who use those slang words. It’s just that if we get into the habit of using the slang words, it’s that much easier to slip and use the real word.

As I was explaining I realized how it sounded. We know the difference, I’m sure that he was thinking that he could be trusted with the words gosh, darn or shoot and not slip up and use the wrong word. I decided to use a different approach. I told him that it’s kind of like leaving his juice cup on the edge of the table. I said, you haven’t spilled anything if your cup is on the edge of the table but it’s that much easier to knock it over if it’s there. So we don’t leave our cups on the edge of the table. Not because it’s wrong, but because it’s not safe. It’s the same with slang words.

He seemed to get it. I never punished him for what he said and I probably won’t if he does it again. He seems to understand why he shouldn’t, and that’s all I really want for him. I want him to recognize the danger and appreciate the lengths we take to avoid it. If he understands that, the danger will be greater in his mind and his own logic will keep him from it.

It made me think about the risks I take too. How often do I put my cup on the edge of the table in other areas? I won’t bore you with my list. I think I do it far more than I should. Even my careless comments complaining about legitimate wrongs, is a cup on the edge of the table. Complaints reinforce negativity and lead to discontentment, and in extreme cases, depression. It’s not worth it.

I wrote a song several years ago…well part of a song…I never finished it…but it is along these same lines. It’s about drawing lines and how sometimes those lines just seem to sneak up on you, I called it “Questions”

1) What if my foot gets in my mouth?
What if my mind goes too far south?
What if I say too much?
What if I laugh too loud?
What if my foot gets in my mouth?

2) What if I kiss him on the mouth?
What if his mind goes too far south?
What if I can’t say no?
What if I’m so in love?
What if I kiss him on the mouth?

Sometimes the line sneaks up on me.
Thought things were fine
I just couldn’t see
… (this is the part that’s not finished)

3) What if I’m gone and no one sees?
What if the world does not need me?
What if I drink too much?
What If I smoke too long?
What if I’m gone and no one sees?

Sometimes the line sneaks up on me.
Thought things were fine
I just couldn’t see
I’d give my life if I could find
Something secure to carry me

4) What if these fences made me free?
What if your “no” means you love me?
What if I drew a line?
What if that line drew me?
(pause)
What if these fences made me free?

Oh…sometimes the line is what I need.
Nothing is fine
If I can’t see
… (this is the other part that’s not finished)

It goes along with what Pastor Davis has been teaching this month on Wednesday nights too. He’s been focusing on addictions and dealing with people who have, or have had, addictions. It’s been really eye opening information and makes me want to be so cautious. Not because I’ve dealt with addictions but what messages am I giving every day in a world full of people fighting things that desire to control them? And what am I allowing for my boys that could one day be the justification for something detrimental to their spiritual lives?

I love the verse in 1 Samuel 3:19
The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground.

What an important and powerful life Samuel had, and it began with the obedience of his mother. She gave him (literally) to the Lord as soon as he was weaned. I imagine he would have only been around 3 years old. I’m sure her prayers over him never stopped through her entire life. The Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground. Nothing wasted, nothing extra, nothing that didn’t matter. How incredible!!!! I am humbled deeply by that thought.

As a mom, I don’t want my kids to grow up and be normal…I want them to be extraordinary like Samuel’s life was. If I really want that, I can’t settle for cups on the edge of the table, not in their lives and not in mine either.