Day 6 Overdue

Good morning! I am up and feeling rested this morning. Had a wonderful Sunday despite the looks of shock and awe that my belly produces. I know, it’s just part of the party but I seriously don’t like going out in public with this thing. I am content at home where my boys don’t even notice and my husband has quiet sympathy. My wonderful Sunday was complete with a sermon so affirming for me on waiting on God and there was a Word given that was so sweet and ended our time together as a congregation perfectly. “I want you to trust me.” He said, and I know that He knows how I feel and what I need and when this will all come to a beautiful end. I know God is taking care of everything and I’m so thankful that even when I feel like He is silent, He proves His listening ear.

The two young ladies I was pregnant with have now been induced and given birth to their beautiful boy and girl respectively. I am thankful that all is well with them and that we will all be carrying our treasures into the nursery very soon. I saw a picture of the little boy and he’s absolutely adorable! Big dark eyes wide open and expressive. So cute! Makes me hungry to hold this baby.

As promised:

You can see by the fact that even my largest most covering shirt is leaving belly hanging out, that it is difficult to find things to wear and be comfortable in. This shirt is extra large and is probably my favorite thing to wear. I have it on my three shirt rotation. That’s for public appearances. There are a few more shirts I wear around the house but they aren’t fit for the general population to witness. I do a lot of small loads of laundry to make sure I have plenty to put on. I consider it an adventure in survival.

Okay…so the big news is that Becky (my sister) left town to visit my dad in Michigan on Thursday and of course we all thought that she would miss the birth. She planned the trip confident that I would have the baby before she left. Weren’t we all confident?…I know I was. Anyway…she called me this morning on her way back to Tennessee to see how I am doing and I told her the race is on. I predict she’ll be back by 1:00 or 2:00 so my goal is to have the baby before then just to irritate her. Everyone with me? Get into your prayer stance and consider fasting lunch. I want a baby today! Even Owen, who insisted he wanted the baby to come later, is on board.

Seriously, as I sat in my comfy chair with my Bible this morning I thought…this is really so comical if I step back and look at it. I don’t know what God is accomplishing and I really don’t have to, as long as I know He’s got it under control. But when I think how I will feel about it all in just a few months I am sure that this “long” week of being overdue is really going to matter so little. I have questioned God on how exactly this is anyway to glorify Him and He just smirks at me. I know I can’t see Him smirk, but that’s what it feels like. He doesn’t answer specifically and allows me to choose between wallow and worship.

I remember as a small child going to swim at the lake during the summer. Having grown up with Bible stories I remember more than once testing my faith by walking to the end of the dock, staring up at the sky which was the only way I knew to keep my eyes on Jesus, and with the determination to walk on water stepping off the dock. I always fell into the water and wondered what I was doing wrong. Like most of us, I have long been a student of faith and trust. From His calling on my life, to dating and marriage, money issues and healing. I have walked through disappointments and painful things, concentrating on learning what it is to trust Him. I waited for children and beginning our family and now waiting for this little child to come out is once again a lesson. In everything, I can give thanks because in each circumstance of the past, yes even those disappointments and pains, I can see His hand had a firm grip on my life. Not every situation had to do with me, not every situation rewarded me, but in each one I can see that I was cared for. In getting through them, I am finding myself farther and farther from the security of the shoreline and deeper and deeper into the rolls and waves of the sea. I do not consider myself having arrived in any form, I only know that I know Him a little better than I did. I don’t have to scramble in search of a life raft or cling to some flimsy piece of driftwood. I am afloat, and I am seen and I know that He is holding me up and beckoning me to walk with Him above all the circumstantial evidence of misery and discontent. I do not have to cry, I do not have to complain, I do not have to express my negative feelings. Despite what others may think or say of my carrying such a big baby for so long when there are so many options to consider, I can, and am determined, to trust Him with a grateful smile on my face. He did not call me to take shortcuts this time around…He called me to endure. And each day I realize, endurance is not so bad. The discomfort and inconvenience doesn’t change but the ability to get beyond it does. He is faithful…I believe that more and more every day.

Now…bring on the labor pains, let’s see what else I can endure!!!!