Kris has gone to Florida (to a conference) without us and we are somewhat in a daze. Owen and I are getting on just fine of course but it is strange to be without Kris on a Sunday night. Tomorrow Joey will come and we will have our Monday as usual but Kris will not come home at 5:30 and give us a reason to end our daily business and tend to something new. I enjoy having a goal of wrapping tasks and projects up before Kris gets home so that the slate is clean for whatever he may or may not want to do. Of course Owen is always excited to see his daddy and their play time together is something to look forward to each evening. It’s a little dull without him but we will manage I’m sure.
I had really hoped that this time I would be able to go with him. Almost every year he goes to this conference (always in different locations) and almost every year I am almost able to join him. The first few times I was working too so it was difficult to justify. Then there was just money and then there was Owen and now there is Ivan who though he hasn’t arrived, so to speak, is close enough to arrival to make travel difficult enough to avoid. Kris is always put up in a very nice hotel (this time it’s the Gaylord Palms) and he always enjoys his time at the conference. The last night is always a big bash put on by the hosting software company and the attendees are treated to some outrageous event or given free reign of some park or facility. This year he is going to enjoy Islands of Adventure after hours and on the house. I know he will have a great time. I don’t think in my state that I would have enjoyed that even if he could have gotten me in, but as he has family close by I would have had plenty to do and enjoy were I able to make the trip.
Bad timing…but every year? There must be something I’m doing wrong…I have somehow managed to exclude myself once again. I think I’ll stay up late and eat ice cream until I think of what it is.
May I gripe a bit more without boring any of you? Just a suggestion really…if you see someone who is dealing with a particular issue which is beyond their control…say…the tail end of pregnancy when the subject gets really big…try to be encouraging. What is the matter with people? I walk around and get asked constantly when I’m due and then I get this look…it’s a sympathetic almost fearful look that says…”you aren’t going to make it and I’m so sorry.” Some people just pop right out with…Oh…it’s twins! Some people actually grimace. Get a lesson in tact people! Nobody enjoys walking around like this, but sympathy mixed with disgust doesn’t help. Nobody died, nobody’s hurt and nobody’s telling you how sorry they are that you obviously had acne in junior high…have a little respect. I mean what if I walked around and pointed out something that is obviously not going perfectly in your life? “Hey…sorry about that hair cut…how slow does your hair grow? Oh, man that’s rough.” Or…”So, how long did the doctor say that rash will take to clear up? Wow, you have a whole month to look like that…I’m so sorry!” I think people just don’t know how stupid they sound and I’m sure I’ve done very similarly insensitive things so I really don’t get mad at individuals, I just have gotten to the point where I don’t want to go out in public anymore. If you don’t have something nice to say…don’t say anything at all. How hard is that?
The truth is, I just carry big, as did my mother, I’ve gained a reasonable amount and the baby is measuring right on target for this particular week of pregnancy, it just happens to all stick out the front of my abdomen and it makes people stare, question and exclaim “oh my Lord!” when I tell them I’m not done yet. It really is comical and I need to have a t-shirt made that has my due date on the front and then just below it the words “it’s not twins, I’m not miserable, and I haven’t told you what I think of how you look, so think before you speak.” I believe this would sell were it marketed correctly as I’m sure I’m not the only person in the world who has this issue. I bet this is all a vengeance from God for my “big red sweater” comment years ago. A few of you know what I’m talking about and it is a story worth telling, but not tonight. I must go see how Owen is getting along downstairs.
I understand how you feel about the belly thing. People are just insensitive, and somehow when strangers see a pregnant woman or a woman with a new baby, they feel that it’s their God-given right to step in and say something.
I can’t say I was very polite to most people during my pregnancy, but I also had lots of mean hormones going on, too. :p
What in the world did they say to you…you didn’t even get very big? If I remember right, you were my 3 month size at 9 months. Did they comment on your age? I can imagine people thinking they had a right to tell you all about life because you are young.
I don’t know the big read sweater comment. Do share!
I got size comments a lot. Mostly me being “too small” which bothered me. I was just right for my build and the size of my kid.
Everyone said I’d deliver early, and it turned out I had him four days late.
No age comments though. That would be rediculous, as only a hundred or so years ago, women were married and having children at age sixteen, and I was older than that.
Too small! People are so silly.
A friend of mine was bothered by “too small” comments, as well. It reminded her that she had something she was already concerned about- that the baby was unhelathy or too small. Really, most of us don’t like having these thing pointed out because we are afraid we’re not “normal”. And it’s just ten times worse while pregnant due to emotions and hormones and whether or not we are hungry.
Mary, if you need anything while Kris is gone, let us know!
That’s funny that people are commenting on you, because I don’t think you look unusually large. Remember, the big cleaning lady at Kruse who had two butts too many and had the nerve to say “Girl! You got 2 or 3 babies in there?” to me!!!! I was only 16 weeks pregnant. I’ll never forget her. I wasn’t offended as much as I was embarassed and then a little put back by the size of the woman (300 + pounds & not pregnant) who chose to comment on MY size. I think you look great, and I’m not just saying that to be encouraging. You really do look great.
Your mother was also “huge” when she was carrying you so just think of the end results. In your opinion was there a better, nicer, more intelligent baby??
Awwwww. You *are* Daddy’s favorite!
Some people think negative attention is better than none at all… maybe that’s why people have comments. I am sure I am an offender! But I think you look beautiful pregnant!
I can totally relate. I was walking in the mall, alright, alright, I really was waddling, when this woman came from 1/2 a mile off and took my arm and said, “Oh are you having twins.” IT was all I could do not to scream, “And so what if I am?!?!?! Are you really going to remember this conversation? Was it worth the trouble to come from Egypt to ask me this?!” DROVE ME NUTS. I can so sympathize.
Yeah dude I was “too small” but I had an over-8-pound kid. I mean geez….I was just all baby I guess. And for me, gaining 21 pounds was a LOT…as I’ve been underweight my whole life…not what I planned or anything. I’d like to gain some weight because I think I’d be healthier..but it’s just not how God made me.
I can’t count the times that people asked me if I was having twins! And the looks that people would give! They thought I was in my ninth month at three or four months! So, I can VERY much relate to this situation! Then of course I had huge babies. Megan stayed huge…she was 20lbs at 4 months and she looked like she should be a year old. Then you get people asking, “Why can’t she talk/walk/sit-up yet?” People just never know when to keep quiet!