Sharing a World Turned Upside Down

At 5:20 or so this morning I was awakened from a sound sleep by a little silhouette by my bed saying “hold you?” I looked at the clock and realized that I would be up soon anyway so I pulled him up beside me and snuggled until his restlessness made it impossible.

We went out to the play room for a little while and then I went back to my room to get dressed so we could go downstairs and wait for Joey. Owen and I each had a bowl of cereal and played for a little while. Joey showed up and then everything seemed to hit the fan.

Everything Joey did irritated Owen to the point of tears. If I so much as spoke to Joey, Owen was immediately between us and demanding that I hold him. I felt bad because I know Owen is somewhat stressed right now, he knows something is happening and we keep talking about this baby brother thing and last night we had a row about the crib not being his anymore but rather belonging to Ivan and oh the trauma it has all produced. He has already been spanked twice this morning because I can’t allow him to argue, whine or be selfish, but I need to be understanding to his innocence and frustration so it’s a fine line I’m trying to walk. I have to punish him if he does wrong, but I need to be sensitive to why he’s doing it and try to make up for some of the sacrifice he is forced to make. I keep thinking that once Ivan has actually arrived it will be easier. Right now he’s dealing with the idea of giving what has been his to someone he doesn’t know. I think Joey takes the brunt of it as Owen is forced to share his toys with a baby that’s as big as he is but doesn’t understand that grabbing at Owen and putting Legos in his mouth is not the way to play together. This morning Owen was crying because Joey was fascinated by his shoe strings. Owen was sitting near him and Joey would dive for his feet and land on top of his legs almost knocking Owen down by his weight and force. I cannot seem to make Owen understand that Joey is a baby and doesn’t know what he’s doing. Owen wasn’t hurt but he was somewhat trapped under Joey and was mad as can be. Owen is told constantly that he’s a big boy and there is so much of him that wants to be our baby, so I can only imagine how confused he feels at times. I also wonder if he hears us call Joey a baby and then tell him that he’s going to have a baby brother and thinks…there’s another one coming! I don’t know…that may be more complex than his actual reasoning but regardless of all of that…I’ll be glad when Joey is no longer here and we can try to help Owen understand what all is taking place. His world is going to be turned upside down in some ways, but it’s also going to be so good for him to have this new little brother and see how great it is to share even an upside down world with him.

With all the emotional uproar going on between Owen and Joey I decided that I would go ahead and make my Wal-Mart trip and get it out of the way before Joey’s first bottle and nap. hopefully wearing us all out enough to get good naps today and have a better afternoon. It doesn’t sound like a good idea to take two whiny kids out of the house, but I really thought it would be a good distraction and I must say it went well. When we got there, I put Joey in the cart and Owen immediately got upset saying it was his cart, I put Owen in the basket portion and that was the end of fussing. They have both been in good humor ever since. I’m tired, but I know that I can relax some today and don’t need to push myself for any reason. Hopefully I’ll even get a chance for a nap this afternoon when they lay down. I have one load of laundry to do and there is certainly some cleaning that should be done but I know what I’m making for dinner and I have no plans beyond that. It should be a good day.